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Carpet Diem [PDF / EPUB] Carpet Diem Good and Evil do not existGod and Satan are brother and sister and the Big Bang was a giant cockupNow over 13 billion years later the most important item in all of creation is Simon Debovar's living r Good and Evil do not existGod and Satan are brother and sister and the Big Bang was a giant cockupNow over billion years later the most important item in all of creation is Simon Debovar's living room carpet And someone just stole itCan Simon overcome his anti social nature and recover his carpet before it costs him his lifeAnd importantly should heBrace yourself for a witty sexy sweary romp through a world of angels demons witches immortals and talking deer Join Simon and his alcoholic foul mouthed Great Aunt Harriet as they stumble their way from one near disaster to the next with the fate of the world at stake.

  • Kindle Edition
  • 378 pages
  • Carpet Diem
  • Justin Lee Anderson
  • English
  • 03 April 2014

About the Author: Justin Lee Anderson

Justin spent years as a professional writer and editor before his debut novel Carpet Diem was published in It became a best seller and won a Audie award Since he has been writing full time alongside working on scripts with his wife Juliet who he met through a BBC scriptwriting contestThey live just outside his hometown of Edinburgh with their Brady Bunch family of five ki.



10 thoughts on “Carpet Diem

  1. says:

    Both the cover and title of this book attracted me to it Once I discovered it was not only called Carpet Diem but actually involved a ‘carpet’ in the story I knew this was a book I had to read Carpet Diem is nothing like anything I’ve read before Carpet Diem is about Simon a man who dislikes other people and has chosen to live the life of a hermit whose life is very much changed when he is rudely interrupted by someone ringing his broken doorbell Before he has time to crawl back into his hole he seems to end up involved in a rather complex situation regarding his carpet which he discovers is very much sought after by Lily the demon and Daniel the angel As if that wasn’t weird enough imagine his response when he discovers that his carpet has been stolen but not by Lily or Daniel So this is where the adventure begins for Simon and his somewhat popular carpetThis book is funny unusual imaginative and sometimes completely ridiculous It is filled with a wonderful mix of uirky characters some of them I know I would get on so well with I’m not sure what that says about me but if you consider yourself to be slightly weird and have a sense of humour then I recommend you read this bookI would like to thank the author for a copy of this book via THE Book Club TBC on Facebook in exchange for an honest review and wish him great success with this book

  2. says:

    Oh my good giddy aunt I haven't laughed so much when reading a book since I last leafed through a Tom Sharpe This is not a book to read on the bus or tube or in fact anywhere in public where making snorting noises and gurning might make others back away from youunless of course that rather appeals in which case be my guestJustin Lee Anderson has written a fabulous farcical novel which sees his hero Simon Debovar people hater and painfully rich hermit getting a visit from an bad attitude angel and a sexy demon who want to get their hands on a family heirloom his carpet to settle a bet between Father God and Mother Devil In the world of the supernatural there are rules and they can't just spirit it away and so he has to pick whom to give the carpet to They give him a day to think about it and promise to come back the next day to make their offers but overnight the carpet is stolen Simon needs to get it back and to make matters worse it uickly becomes clear the whole of humanity is at risk if Simon messes this up Heaven help us allSimon is allowed to take one person with him to 'help' and settles on one of the few people he knows dear old Aunt Harriet His aunt is completely mad and permanently drunk but when you live life as a hermit your options of people to choose from who will have your back are fairly limited Aunt Harriet is likely to flail his back as she thinks he is an idiot but beggars can't be choosers A force to be reckoned with Aunt Harriet is a wonderful character if only she were 50 years younger she would be a menace to the male population I can't tell you how much I loved this book but I can tell you I am going to read it again this weekend when I get some precious 'me time' just for the sheer delight of it

  3. says:

    As a general rule I like to begin reviews with a brief summary of the story but to be honest I’ve been sat here for a few moments now and I’m not uite sure where to start with this fast paced and rather twisted plot Simon Debovar a typical rich hermit awakes one day to hear his broken doorbell ringing and behind that door is a demon and an angel They’ve come to retrieve his carpet of course and settle a bet When Simon is asked to choose to whom he wants to give the carpet that’s actually an ancient and intricate yet remarkably well maintained rug he is thrown into a wild adventure The plot as I mentioned is fast paced and full of so many twists and turns that it might as well be one of those twisty turny brightly coloured water slides you get at leisure centres and water parks You know the ones – they make your head spin a little and you aren’t entirely sure where you are Those ones In fact the plot is so complicated that I wonder whether Anderson himself can work it all out when he tries to think about it logically but – and here’s the big but that makes it all worth it – it works It’s one of those typical farcical humours that throw you in so many directions and through so many doors that you don’t know whether you are coming or going but actually in the end it still all makes sense Rather clever that and definitely an enjoyably techniue The characters too are fun I enjoyed seeing the concepts of God and the Devil Angels and Demons flipped on their head and the book provided a great take on these spiritual matters It reminded me somewhat of Tom Holt and his godly characters as well his uick wit and slightly twisted humour It may cause offence to the deeply religious but to a self confessed atheist such as myself the satire was a hoot As for the other characters Harriet Sean Simon Bob and all the rest of themthey were a bit of a mixed bag of nutcases my favourite kind of course Simon I found to be a little stock characterish reminding me somewhat of Hitchhiker’s Arthur Dent although not in any particularly memorable or fond way Simon in fact is ultimately forgettable and entirely uninteresting Faunt on the other was entirely believable even given his propensity to become a deer – no not dear deer In fact I’d uite like a beer and a game of Yahtzee with him Harriet too is someone I’d love to go partying with One thing I did notice whilst reading apart of the numerous formatting and typing errors that kept pulling me out of the story but yes – it’s a flaw we all have and we and our editors are only human after all – the one thing I did notice was that I didn’t really care I enjoyed the book I laughed out loud I believed in the unbelievable characters but I was never driven to get to the end to find out what happens and I didn’t care much for who died and who didn’t although one death in particular did make me gasp I never once thought “I’ve got to sit down and read some ” and it didn’t keep me up past my bedtime It’s rather a flat book actually – but almost in a good sense if you know what I mean There is little depth and I didn’t get emotionally involved and that has the potential to be a bad thing but sometimes that’s what you want My own books work on this idea that sometimes people don’t want depth – they want something light and fun In fact that’s what most farce is isn’t it? And this book definitely slots into the ‘farce’ category uite nicely Besides its one big saving grace is that it never proclaims to be anything but that Right from the outset you know this book is meant as a bit of fun and that is most definitely what it is One the thing I know for certain is that this book is not for everyone although really what book is? If you’re looking for emotional depth if you’re looking for hidden meanings if perhaps you take religious satire offensively then move on If however you are looking for riotous humour and lots and lots of laughs if you’re looking for bright and unusual characters with whom you’ll want to make friends and if you’re looking for a trippy and twisty tale for a light and enjoyable read after a long day’s work Carpet Diem is most definitely for you From tiny giggles to full frontal laughs this book will have you guffawing all the way to bed – and that is never a bad thing

  4. says:

    May contains spoilers Not sure whether i give away to much or not so sorry in advanceWhat do you get when you mix Angels and Demons Witches and magic with a Hermit from Edinburgh? Well in my case it's meant a serious case of sore ribs and a book that I just couldn't put downThe characters are fantastically written and I love how the author has really thought about how they are portrayed The story focuses mainly on Simon Debovar the Hermit I mentioned above when he's approached by an Angel Daniel and a Demon Lily Who have been sent to retrieve his living room carpet This first meeting goes well if you don't count the line “It Bellowed again “You've got nipples You're not allows nipples” which as expected caused a bit of a giggle from meAs if the premise of an Angel and A Demon approaching a Scottish Hermit wasn't hilarious enough on it's own the carpet is then stolen and so starts the adventure of Simon's lifetime He has to track said carpet down because he has now entered into a contract with Lily and Daniel So in comes Great Aunt Harriet an acid tongued old woman who likes a drink We then head to Priests island and are able to enjoy seeing how one bad idea follows another in the hands of our carpet thieves Luke and Gabby This is where Witches come in and the story gets a little confusing with the addition of a lot charactersUltimately our unlikely Hero Simon saves the day and things turn out much better than expected however not before the story takes a few darker turnsI would say this is probably one of my favourite reads of the year so far and I would highly recommend it to anyone who has a sense of humour The characters are lovable and you can't help but wish you were actually friends with them

  5. says:

    Not my usual kind of book but what does that matter when it's as good as this one? Snappy writing a great eye for a funny line a rip roaring plot that doesn't let up and constantly surprises a host of engaging and occasionally terrifying characters what's not to like? Recommended to fans of comic fantasy sci fi or even those like me who aren't fans of either but just love a brilliantly written and wickedly entertaining book

  6. says:

    about to give up Unfortunately the hook an angel and a demon competing for the soul of humanity was reminiscent of Good Omen which I love but am about to give upFinished SighAs much as I love irreverent humorous fantasy like Christopher Moore and of course Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman along with Monty Python ec I just could not enjoy this book I found it tedious unengaging and too long Some references to mythology and to Shakespeare Island Prospero were way too vague to be enjoyable The classic Angel vs Demon conflict oh well nothing new there eitherAt the end the cute title was the best part IMOI am glad others laughed out loud and found this book so funny I did not

  7. says:

    The title enticed me it's one of the best I've come across for a while And then the premise is intriguing But where this book shines is in the deft way the author builds a universe of absurd but believable and distinct characters and the way the story races along with twists and turns at every opportunity constantly making you wonder who's going to do what nextThoroughly enjoyable I can't wait till the seuel comes out

  8. says:

    This entertaining story had me riveted for an entire weekend desperate to know what would become of the characters Full of wee twists and turns to keep things interesting Would highly recommend

  9. says:

    It was an odd little story but interesting enough that I had to finish it The premise of angels and demons trying to locate and claim a rug from Simon weirdly entertaining Definetly a suspend your beliefs story through and through

  10. says:

    I had really planned on giving this book 1 or 2 stars when I borrowed it from the library I didn’t realize it was a fantasy and fantasy is NOT my genre But I was on the road for work with no wifi so I kept listening Honestly for the first 40 60% of the book I didn’t know what the hell get it? Haha book is centered about an angel and demon was going on There were so many new characters all with different back stories and some strange abilities And then it sorta fell into place and I could follow along without an aneurism and suddenly at 80% I was invested I cared about the characters and wanted to know how the story would end So maybe it should be a 4 or 5 star rating because a staunch “no fantasy” reader ended up enjoying it but I’m keeping it at a 3 because seriouslyIf you’re into fantasy and a different spin on God and the Devil brother and sister give this book audio book was narrated beautifully a try

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