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Jam [PDF / EPUB] Jam We were prepared for an earthuake We had a flood plan in place We could even have dealt with zombies ProbablyBut no one expected the end to be uite so sticky or strawberry scented We were prepared for an earthuake We had a flood plan in place We could even have dealt with zombies ProbablyBut no one expected the end to be uite so sticky or strawberry scented.


About the Author: Yahtzee Croshaw

Benjamin Richard Yahtzee Croshaw is an English comedic writer video game journalist and author of adventure games created using Adventure Game Studio software He writes articles for Australia's Hyper magazine a major games publication He uses his website Fully Ramblomatic as an outlet for his own work including weekly dark humour articles essays fiction and webcomics He is currently m.



10 thoughts on “Jam

  1. says:

    Like most people I know Yahtzee primarily through his brilliantly scathing video game reviews Here's a link for the uninitiated I found out that he'd written a book as well I was curious But honestly I didn't have high expectations I don't mean this as a dig It's just that brilliance is not necessarily transferable Just because Yahtzee can be funny clever and witty in a five minute review doesn't mean that he can write a funny clever witty novel No than I could jump in and do his job and be good at it All that aside I was pleasantly surprised by the book It was funny well written and managed one of the most difficult tricks of all which is to be ridiculous AND realistic In my experience a lot of people who write speculative fiction Sci fi fantasy etc tend to make the same mistake They think that the weirdness the better They feel like if their stories only have one piece of speculation in them they're somehow cheaping out It's as if people thing it's not enough to write an alternate history of Earth where say the Roman empire never collapsed No You have to change it so that everyone is talking Kangaroos with magic powers too But this simply isn't true Most of the time adding one simple what if to the story is than enough If I had the chance to teach a class on writing speculative fiction I'd use this book as an example of how that's true The what if in uestion is What if you woke up and found that the world had been covered in two feet of carnivorous strawberry jam? Does it sound corny? Yeah But the truth is it's a fucking good book The best apocalypse stories I've read in ages So good on you Yahtzee You clever multifarious bastard you


  2. says:

    This author comes up with the most insane ideas and then makes them not only work but be really funny and tell a good story besidesThis book is about flesh eating strawberry jam flooding Brisbane See what I mean about the basic premise being insane? But the characters are believable and relatable while still being eccentric and hilarious the story strolls happily along with a slowly unravelling mystery threaded into the hijinks of basic survival and this was the big surprise to me the story climax actually gets very tense and scary I honestly couldn't see how the characters were going to survive and save the day Don't worry it was a satisfying ending neither too happy nor too tragicMy uibbles with the book were that especially in the beginning I sometimes had trouble envisioning the scenery which is a problem when the characters are using the scenery to save themselves from attacking jam Overly convenient bits of buildings seemed to keep springing out of nowhere That said I could forgive this I was amused enough to keep reading plus the fortunate coincidences stopped happening after the characters got themselves out of the initial perils Overall I'd recommend this as an imaginative and successful comedy


  3. says:

    Jam is a bit of a puzzle for me to review It excels at the exact thing that I'm often the least interested in plot It's a well constructed story with a post apocalyptic concept that seemed reasonably fresh to me with a pacing that seldom dragged But it made me realize that the only way a misanthrope can really write compelling characters is by being a narcissist At least then the protagonist gets some development at least if its based on the authorThe entire story emanates a strong level of contempt for every character involved Almost everyone has a single character trait and that character trait can be ignored if it doesn't fit with the direction of the story If there was some faint praise to be had with Croshaw's previous book Mogworld it's that the protagonist was consistently unlikable and his actions always fit with his motives Here an idealist can become a self serving for a cheap joke or a mean character a savior for no greater reason than otherwise the plot would come to a stopWriting a humorous book can also be fraught with issues I think Terry Pratchett succeeded so often because fundamentally he wrote good stories with likable characters that just happened to have a lot of fun jokes and whimsical notions thrown in when they seemed appropriate He was a funny guy and his books reflected it Whereas in Jam there's an exhaustive ongoing joke about how young people misuse the word ironic and I'm not sure if it ever worked for me even once Jokes are often haphazardly thrown into the narrative for no better reason than the author must have felt he'd gone a while without attempting one Perhaps because Croshaw's main fanbase comes from a humorous web series he felt it was expected of him but there are times where the prose is needlessly awkward because it seemed like it would be funnier There's a pervading sense of this is what humorous writing sounds like which never uite eualed laughsCroshaw has created an interesting tale populated by characters that he appears to hate too much to try and get to know better No character has than one or two attributes and at times I almost wanted to yell Could you stop with your particular shtick and just be real for a minute? But he doesn't seem to see the humor in his own hatred of his characters the kind of awareness that could have pushed the story into a legitimate black comedy What I'd really like to see from Croshaw is a genuinely dark novel that in no way deliberately attempts to be funny I think it could be liberating


  4. says:

    35Yahtzee Croshaw has an interesting story basis for his stories and Jam is probably one of the weirder ones so far I had heard this was a Brisbane Australia based book so I must admit it went right to the very top of my pile The book is a very different take on the end of the world storyline and throws The Blob into a city area something that the first movie and remake couldn't achieve with the budget restrictions The book was a little hit and miss for me but the conclusion brings it all home If you like odd characters and bizarre story beats Yahtzee Croshaw should be a name in your reading list The characters are uite interesting and are not your typical one dimensional cliché riddled cronies One of the biggest ticks for this book is the wide variety of characters Each character has an agenda and could serve as the central character of the book I found the first section of the book was a little slow but when the wide variety of characters grew the book stopped the slow introductions and started having fun Yahtzee is far from your typical character creator and I found the wide variety a nice contrast to the typical thriller and Hollywood writers The central storyline is fun but you have to slug through a very tiresome first section of the book I found the central discovery a little slow for my taste and probably would have thrown off if this was my first Yahtzee novel The cliché beginning soon turned into a weird cult storyline which was the highlight of the book This is where Yahtzee succeeds and he dials it to 11 The Jam is merely a catalyst to overcome and is merely a backburning issue once the story kicks into high gear The Blob feels like a great influence for Yahtzee and while the films are my favourite cult classics this book fails to utilise the entity in a productive story The mixed tone never sits well with me maybe a film version might settle on a distinct tone this annoyed me slightly Why the 35?I was tossing around the 4 and 35 but ultimately landed on the 35 The book is fun and out there but the initial kick off and ending slightly annoyed me too much Yahtzee is a fun novelist and I enjoy the worlds he creates but like all my favourite artists it's tough to land every single thing you do Some of the fans love this book and on some level I do as well Maybe if the novel landed with the cult earlier or if the jam served as a bigger threat I don't know what could change my mind The structure of the novel is a little inconsistent but it won't throw me off Yahtzee he stories to unleash on the world Read for yourself but remember that you must leave your mind at the door for these books


  5. says:

    Jam B00A7H2E3WI loved Yahtzee Croshaw's first book Mogworld and I went into Jam expecting to love it and I did so at least I'm both consistent and predictable lol And I'm already on tenterhooks hoping that Jam will come out on audiobook soon so that I can listen to it for a second read through But let me also just state upfront that Jam is not going to be for everyone though nothing ever is and then I'll get to why Jam is essentially a zombie apocalypse story with the zombies replaced by man eating jam Our point of view character wakes up one morning to find that his city was covered with three feet of jam while he slept and now it's up to him and the remaining few survivors to paw through the wreckage while navigating the rooftops of a ruined city And this whole setup reminds me of one of Yahtzee's Zero Punctuation reviews I think it was one for Left 4 Dead where he theorized that as long as an author can re create the tension and horror of the zombie apocalypse you can replace the zombies with koalas and you'd still have a zombie story on your hands And that's what Jam essentially is a proof of concept that is delightfully grim and utterly original If you've read Mogworld you'll already be familiar with Yahtzee's style of writing Jam is semi serious but with a strong undercurrent of parody and sardonic wit Most of the main characters are recklessly stupid and detrimentally self involved with their personal preoccupations to the point where they routinely prioritize trivial impulses over their basic survival And in some ways the villains are differentiated from the protagonists ONLY by a matter of degree when everything goes all Lord of the Flies a few days after the apocalypse there's a strong implication that the villains just spiraled down a little faster than the majority of our protagonists What keeps the novel from being a bleak indictment of humanity unlike your usual Lord of the Zombie Apocalypse novel is the humor that saturates every page The protagonists bicker amusingly with each other as they work around each others' shortcomings and with dialogue that had me cracking up on numerous occasions; the villains are cartoonishly evil even as they shrewdly point out the flaws of the protagonists; and the apocalypse surges on around the confused and deeply distressed point of view character as he tries to adapt to the total destruction of everything he's ever known It may not sound like a laugh riot but it has the same delightful gallows humor of Mogworld and I loved it it's like if Douglas Adams wrote a zombie apocalypse with Arthur Dent as the POV character And also there was jam Having said all that Jam isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea Many of the protagonists really are or eventually become flawed sexist racist stupid andor evil to the point where some readers aren't going to appreciate being forced to stick with them to the end; to continue the above analogy picture Zaphod Beeblebrox slowly devolving from a sexist misanthrope to well significantly worse The characters are freuently called out on many of their flaws both by each other and by the narrative but always in a humorously sarcastic way that doesn't really make way for catharsis or improvement For myself I found the dysfunctional dynamics of the group incredibly compelling to the point where I finished the book in a day and enjoyed every minute of it but I also recognize that dark humor surrounding dark characters isn't going to be for everyone Relatedly if you reuire your zombie apocalypse novels to be inhabited by sensible characters this isn't going to satisfy SEMI SPOILERS Speaking of Jam continues the Mogworld tradition of bittersweet endings where things are nominally fixed but still deeply terribly broken Now granted this is a zombie apocalypse novel and those are pretty much guaranteed to have bittersweet endings unless it turns out to have been a dream all along but even allowing for the genre and the sweet part of the bittersweet there's still a profoundly sad note underlying the ending As a reader I didn't find the end dissatisfying but it's not something that will sit well with everyone Again you'll probably be the best judge for yourself as to whether or not gallows humor and tempered cynicism will be your thing or not I offer no judgment on readers either way END SPOILERSI genuinely enjoyed this book and as mentioned tore through it in a day simply because I couldn't set it down The premise is delightfully original the POV character is deeply sympathetic and the main characters are flawed in that very special way where they would be utterly insufferable in real life and yet are amusing to follow in a novel just so you can see how badly they will screw things up and so they can all call each other out every five minutes in a manner which suddenly reminds me of Brian Clevinger's 8 Bit Theater comics which I also immensely enjoy If you won't be put off by a little unrealism in the world and a lot of unreason in the characters in order to carry a lot of delightful gallows humor I absolutely recommend this book if only for the sheer uniueness Ana Mardoll


  6. says:

    This book was pretty fun A pretty entertaining lampooning of apocalypse survivor stories full of the author’s trademark sarcasm and dry British humor


  7. says:

    Yahtzee Croshaw is known to videogamers as that Australian guy who makes online video reviews for games using animated stick figures a bit like those on warning signs on a yellow background that feature the odd bit of cursing images of penises and give you the idea that they're probably made mainly for a young male audience Zero Punctuation wikipedia page ZP's own Wiki and video ArchiveHowever Here and there Croshaw drops in the odd reference to Columbo eons ago I watched a lot of that show and various literature and he has a way with wit and ranting that reminds me of a young version of John Cleese in Fawlty Towers Only with lots of penis and videogame references It's very much an online thing meaning not always funny and if funny not funny to everyone and every time I think I've found an episode to pass along and say ok here here's why I think this is funny there's always at least 10 seconds that's tasteless enough that I think no no leave it to the teen boys and move along your friends are just going to think you've played too many videogames and lapsed into the realm of fart jokes etc And yet I keep watching his stuff Maybe it's a gamer thing Or maybe my sense of humor is just becoming warped Let's not answer that shall we?Anyway the guy has some wit about him and I've wanted to read his books for a while This is his second I missed out on getting the first Mogworld when it first came out and for some reason it's not in ebook form yet This time I got in on the purchasing part early enough gave up on the whole cloud thing and got a paper copy of Jam EDIT as of today March 1 2013 US now has ebooks of both of Croshaw's books In case you were wonderingThe short version I always promise that and fail jam arrives unexpectedly in Australia Brisbane I think and eats everything organic One minute Travis is talking to his roommate Frank as Frank is sliding down the banister of the stairs they're both leaving their building and talking as they descendP 8 So I was just in time to see him get eaten by the jamHe was looking back at me to shout encouragement so he didn't notice it until he was on top of it flopping bodily onto the three feet of wobbling red that flooded the bottom of the stairwell Urrgh I heard him say in the disgusted tone of one falling victim to a messy practical joke This uickly became argh when he realized the jam wasn't letting him go and that in turn became AAAAARGH when he saw his legs immersed in the semitransparent goo stripped of their flesh over the course of a secondThe rest of him summoned a burst of effort from somewhere and his torso strained at the ropy red strands that wrapped him like festive ribbons He reached his last remaining arm out towards me and his terrified eyes met mine Then the jam shot out several tentacles that fastened around his wrist eyes and mouth and he was yanked back with a desperate gurgleHis wristwatch iPod and fillings slowly floated to the surface with a motion that seemed reminiscent of a satisfied belchI very very slowly turned around and went back up the stairsAnd thus we meet the killer jam It's strawberry or so are told by characters describing the scents wafting from the masses of the stuff that cover the townThe start is all about strangers bumping into each other forming a group who become the adventurers who we will follow on their journey Yes I think you can detect some nod to film and videogame type plots hereOne thing I liked right away is that there are some ideas tossed about concerning what you would immediately wonder why jam? where did it come from? and then you don't get immediate answers Which you would expect since most everyone else is dead This reminded me of the 1990 film Tremors where a small town his held hostage by giant worms from underground and the characters are always pestering a geologyseismology graduate student for a scientific assessment of what the monsters are and she of course has no answers And is rightfully annoyed that everyone keeps asking her because of course no one still living has seen the things before and why does everyone assume that she is The Scientist Who Knows All The Answers? So I really hoped that similarly the whole Cause of the Jam would be teased and that perhaps we might never learn the answer view spoilerWe actually do learn the answer and it sort of works That wasn't really much of spoiler was it Sorry That was probably obnoxious huh Anyway the cause was amusing but not a dramatic reveal exactly and you don't learn everything especially all of the How which I appreciated It's never good to have everything explained about a monster it makes things dull hide spoiler


  8. says:

    A solid humorous take on an apocalyptic scenario I didn't enjoy this uite as much as Croshaw's other books but was still uite fun


  9. says:

    “I woke up one morning to discover that the entire city had been covered in a three foot layer of man eating jam”Croshaw begins his send up of the future apocalypse with a distinctive strawberry flavor The man eating jam that covers Brisbane Australia immediately devours Travis’s one job holding roommate who is heading off to the gym to work out This leaves Travis our slacker hero with his surviving roommate Tim They find only two other survivors in the building—Don who was home after working all night on his ‘build’ he’s a game designer and Angela a wannabe journalist who works at Starbucks The four are shocked when X and Y—a man and woman who appear to be on a secret mission with the US government—crash land a helicopter into Don’s apartment They seem to working for an agency with the acronym HEPLTogether and separately the group must brave aerial stunts and sail on a sea of strawberry jam to reach other survivors and begin colonies The problem is that there are only two sorts of folks left Slackers who weren’t on their way to work when the jam hit at the peak of rush hour traffic and workaholics who were already at the Hibatsu building slaving awayThe twenty something slackers have taken refuge in the mall where they set up an ironic kingdom and with all due irony kill outsiders Travis fears for his tarantula who is weak with hunger Tim wants to take over the kingdom He is sure that this apocalypse will give him the chance to start a new world and is concerned with organizing crop production and the likeMeanwhile the A types at Hibatsu have already formed their own government by committee and are planning a corporate overthrow of other settlements in an effort to gather resources as they work toward a new societyThe juxtaposition of these two groups is funny—neither does very well now that the Internet is permanently down and survival is a matter of chance than anything Don who single mindedly holds on to the notion that his hard drive with his build is the only thing that matters has to deal with all the lunacy as he switches alliances in the effort to find a working computer and upload his build to the cloudHigh school housekeeping Yahtzee Croshaw has something of a cult following online where he posts weekly reviews of video games If you are a gamer you might enjoy his work He is witty and his ability to parody—even skewer—something is evident in Jam If you would enjoy a nice send up of all those ‘dystopian future’ novels you’ve been reading or if you are just looking for something funny try Jam Very wackyNOTE This review is also posted on my blog School Library Lady


  10. says:

    For the record I was predisposed to like this book I don't like Jelly for those of us in the US Also I like Yahtzee Croshaw MogWorld was a lovely twisted and twisting tale and his vidoes on YouTube are both thoughtful and utterly hilarious So when a friend said that this had come out and told me the back blurb I was already hookedOk I just deleted a block of text about how I approached this book which is a gamble I rarely take becausewell there's a lot of reflections for the big three generations currently knocking about the Western Cultural world The Baby Boomers Gen X and the Millennials how'd we get the crap name again? all show up at some point and their various little uirks fill the action and themes of the novel Trust corporate culture? Check Subverted Consumer culture? Touched on but Romero did it best so no harm no foul How damned annoying the eternally ironic are? Sweet Maria and how plus the creeping sensation that the ironic folks don't really know what irony is from time to time I'd say Yahtzee is a cynic but he's the honest kind an optimist that has been mugged by reality and this comes across in everything he does In his video game take downs rhyme downs and now books the subtext is that he wants the human race to win through but he's not really convinced that they have than a snow's chance in Hell on a balmy Thursday And this might be why I loved the book so much you want the characters to survive and thrive in their jammy world even as they all go various shades of bonkersIf you want a proper review I can't help you This is a loving parody of the end of the world and a grimly hilarious but played murderously straight WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL doom story You care for the characters even if they are a little thin this is plot and theme territory not character analysis and you want to know what happens next The middle bit drags for a spell but Yahtzee's voice carries you through and there are chuckles to be had even if you want to start drop kicking the cast The relentless logic followed by the story holds throughout and the focus is on the humans not the jam and how they crumble based on the logic of the story again themesIt's a lot of fun What was that old uote the War wasn't that bad provided you were with the right people? You're in good hands for the end of the world as we know itFour of Five check it out


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